Members: PACO, HuMPtY, Chica
History: With Northern blood running through the veins of this house, the SMASH klan is poised to be ready for any long and grueling battles. With three of the most prominent characters in Unrealeros, other houses will be wary and do their best to avoid being fisted. With tyranny in his blood, PACO will assume the role of the Night's King and ruffle many Northern feathers. Sage and old Ser HuMPtY along with his Squire HULKSMASH will be working around the clock to divert the negative attention that comes with teaming up with the Night's King. Despite being born in different territories, this house often sits around a campfire and bonds while chowing down on delicious servings of blood pudding.
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Members: Lineage, LP, OxygenBob
History: Born and raised in the desolate region of Minnesotus, this house will feel at home in the cold, and be out of their element if they are forced to venture south. It has been over a decade since OxygenBob has lifted a sword, retiring to a kindlier profession than soldiering however desperate times have called for desperate measures. His son Lineage and his best chum LP will try to see him through the day. The inseparable Lin/LP duo grew up together, kissed their first girl together (same one), and held first swords together (same room). Since their youth, they have put on hold their quest for knighthood but will resume holding swords together as they enter the battlefield on the 6th.
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Members: white, toymac, rummy
History: This house rose to power in the Age of Heroes. This collection of greybeards will try to shake their arthritis/carpal tunnel and stay alive during the battle. whitechoc, known for repeatedly screaming DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN on the battlefield, will be the heart, soul and TARGET for House CHOC. Newly Maestered toymac will try to use some of his smarts and experience to stay alive. Toymac has survived many battles by crouching near rocks, floating in rivers and camouflaging with his surroundings. The wildcard bakerboy Rummy of House CHOC might prove to be an unpleasant companion if the battle lasts long and takes them North. His strange obsession of chewing ice should send creaks through the bones of his housemates and might result in some friendly fire slayings.
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Members: ph34r, JYB, Kyle, Cy
History: A Vanguardian always pays his debts.. and with such a rich lineup, the rest of the tournament should come collecting. Phywin Vanguardian is past his prime but is still one of the most feared and revered generals in Unrealeros. Swords might not be enough, so he's going to have to work on his pengame and try to crank out some alliances. Strong Junkyardbelwas is the hired muscle and this eunuch castrated himself so that there would be no ambiguity as to who was the SIIIIIIIIIIKEST CUNT. Before joining House Vanguard, kyle went by the alias of Silent Sister Kylie.. A few embarasing incidents later, he returned to Armadillo Rock to don his plate of armor and wield his ferocious double sided axe named Maryjane. The final member of House Vanguard is the ancient Maester Cycelle. Cy has survived several kings and usually has an extra card up his sleeve when no one is looking. His veteran experience should help the Vanguards clear at least a round or two.
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Members: Morpheeeeeus, vitrae, KYKAS, enochian
History: Bred in some of the roughest slavepits of Astaportgual, this band of warriors has a fearsome reputation. Morphini, the leader of this band of misfits gives all of his comrades and enemies headaches with his high pitched squeals on the battlefield. Second in command Vitrusio is the heart and muscle of this group. What he lacks in tactics, he makes up in brute force. KYKALINI has become one of the most transformed soldiers of the Astaportugese. After being freed, he decided to forget of all his prior disciplinary training and it is expected that he is not even aware that there is a battle on the 6th. The brain behind this squad eunuchion will be looking for weak spots in the opposing teams armor and praying that there are no mountains on the battlefield for greybeard white to perch behind.
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Members: Sezco, Sonic, Dewsick, rain
History: King Sezco Baratheon is the type of King who needs a battle to lead his people. If he can't fight it or fuck it, he loses interest quickly so expect this brazen King to enter all of his battlefields unprotected. Sonic, formerly of House Vanguard, abandoned his liege Phywin to don the white of the Kingsguard. With his new King and his former Lord going to battle, he may be faced with tournament deciding decisions and bear the label of Kingslayer. Along for the ride on the Kingsguard is Ser Dewsick Blount. This knight is undefeated in what he considers fair battles and all of the ones that he loses involve opponents with longer swords, stronger armor and quicker wits. All clearly unfair advantages. The final member of the Kingsguard is Ser Rainbot Swann. Off on an adventure in North, this knight will be cheering for his team and learning about updates from a raven.
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Members: Moli, Boomer, Risus
History: Not able to keep up with the Night's King, Mademoiselle Moli retired to a quiet and less advanced part of Eastern Unrealeros. Avoiding the politicking and the scheming of the outside world, she has been managing a nice and quiet inn with her cook, Master Boomer. As trouble and turmoil spread through the lands, this peaceful innkeeper and her cook will be sucked onto the battlefield. Dashing good looks and a frying pan might not be enough to go on the offensive.. but it just might keep them alive. The sole patron of the Bullgary Inn is Ser Risus. Quick on the slash and slow on the draw, this knight will try to provide some protection for his hosts. Ser Metoch has thus far failed to check in and register at the Inn.
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Members: unrealshots, FALLACY, tylerofl
History: The leader of this group of bandits is unrealshots.. AKA The Hound. Scared of lag and rough around the edges, this warrior often finds himself misunderstood. Despite his brutish appearance and foul language.. all he wants to do is bone Sansa. The Hound's right hand man Ser Fellatio will look to back him up in a secondary role. Ser Fellatio is equivalent to a medieval Robin.. he'll be in the middle of the action on the 6th but there will be no songs sang about him afterwards. The final member of this crew of bandits is tyler "Sansa" rofl. The difference between him and the rest of his teammates is that the only thing that tylerofl steals is hearts. This will be House Silverware's greatest asset as they try to stay alive.
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Members: aNty, kud, spydee
Members: General aNty is the type of guy you want on your team in an LMS skirmish. Monsiuer aNty has survived 100's of battles and he credits his survival skills to his inherited blood from his ancestors. There will be no quarter in this battle, so aNty will need to have his shoes laced up and his aim precise. Ser Kuddles is a famed outdoors man who will also fit right at home in this fight for survival. Ser Kuddles built up notoriety a few years back when he single handedly slew a whale and lived to tell the tale. The final member to this Upper Canada/Lower Canada trio is Maester Spydee. The Master is well known for his well-to-do reputation, but he will have a few conniving tricks saved up for the 6th. His main attack will involve mumbling in the vicinity of other houses and confusing them while his teammates go to work.
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To be continued, I'll try get through all 32 but no promises. The teams that signup earlier increase their likelihood of getting a history. Please no troll threads between now and Sunday so that I can actually motor through with the posts.
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he is only there for the beauty of the lineup...
Sponsored by: Banko
Global.iCTF I - Champions (·shøckWave·)
·GU I PBR Quarter Finalist·
